I was fat almost my entire life and it feels like hell.
I thought I was normal until I started to go to kindergarten and kids treated me differently than they treated others. They were calling me fat and hitting me and the worst of all was when we were having a nap in the afternoon, then other kids would get up from their beds and walk over me, which hurt when they would step on my stomach.
Then in elementary school they started to bully me immediately, they called me "bacon bomb" , "pig", "fattie", they would hit me,punch me,stab me with pins. Once one of the boys had wooden stick that was really sharp on top and he threatened to stab me with it so he was chasing me all the way to the toilet,where I locked myself so he couldn't reach me anymore.
Nobody ever wanted to sit next to me and when teacher said they have to sit next to me they hated it.
Sometimes boys would take my pencil box and play football with it. Once I had pencil box that I got with puddings so it had brand name on it so few boys said "It was required to send 3 empty packs of pudding to get that pencil box but Nina sent 100."
Whenever somebody farted in the class they would say it was me.
Whenever we would go on a trip I would be the only one sitting alone in the bus.
When we would play group games on physical education class, team leaders had to choose members of their team and of course I was the last one chosen.
At age 11 I enrolled in karate class and there was one girl who was hitting me very hard and she would say she's doing that because I'm fat and while she was hitting me she was saying things like "you fattie" or "stupid fattie".
Once around Easter time one girl looked at my fat legs and said " We are going to cook your leg for Easter". The teacher heard her and she didn't say anything, she just uncomfortably looked at me and smiled.
On the streets people would also laugh at me and scream insults.
This is me when I was 14
In high school it didn't get any better. At first I thought I befriended one nice guy but later I found out he was talking nasty stuff about me behind my back.
People from my class would stand in groups and talking and when I wanted to join them they would say "Nobody invited you." or "You are not welcome." At that time it was popular to have blogs so I had one too and one girl from my class was commenting nasty things on my posts,like "you're fat" or "just continue filling yourself up with sweets".
One time I saw one girl from my class on the street and asked her where she was going and she replied: "To see someone you will never have." (meaning boyfriend)
When teacher told one girl she would have to sit next to me during classes from now on she started to cry and the other girl came to comfort her and she said: " I know how you feel when you have to sit there."
Boys on school hallways and outside of school used to make pig sounds or scream: "Babe give me your number" when I was passing by and laugh.
Winters were always the worst, especially before Christmas and New year when they were using firecrackers; then I was afraid I wouldn't make it home alive after school.If there was snow they would throw big ice blocks they would find under the snow at me.
Once two girls at class were talking random stuff and one of them said " I wouldn't feel disgusted to drink water from the same bottle after someone." and the other said " Even after Nina?!" and first girl said "Welll...maybe."
If someone from my class had a birthday party they would invite everyone but me.
When I was around 16 or 17 I had a friend who was normal weight and she always used to have boyfriends and all guys liked her and sometimes I would ask her what some of the guys she was friends with thinks of me and she would tell me how they think that I'm disgusting and ugly and they wouldn't even touch me with gloves on their hands. Once we were taking a walk and saw two guys we knew and one of them told me " You are pretty" and I said "Thank you" and as soon as they left my friend said "He was just kidding when he said you were pretty."
In college things got a bit better, people there weren't bullying me for my weight anymore. But enough damage was already done and I'm not able to function socially as normal people do. I have hard time making friendships and getting into relationships and if I do get into one I'm extremely jealous and constantly scared the person I'm in a relationship with will find someone prettier than me and break up with me.
Also,one of my friends who is very good looking posts photos with other friends on Instagram but not with me, probably because she's embarrassed.
During the last couple of years I lost a lot of weight and I'm doing better but the damage that has been done to me is beyond repairable.
This is me now,still not perfect weight but I'm doing much better.